'Wonder' fiction. Unspecific Review, Forgive Me


*sighs violently* huuuuuuuhhhhhhgghhhhhgggghhhh

School will be started by tomorrow. And that means there are still 9 hours left for me to think weather shall I procrastinate or just hanging around and stare at the walls, which seems to be more 'fun' than ironing my school uniform. Ugghhhhhhhhghghhghghhhhh I love school, really. It's just that aku malas nak jumpa orang. Like, I wanna go to school just to learn and gain freaking knowledge and do experiments. Not fundamentally meeting with fake ass people. uuuggggghhhhhuuughhhhhh

Alright. In my previous post I've made my promise that I'll be writing my reviews and express my opinion towards the 'Wonder' fiction. Okeyh! Bismillah..

'Wonder' by R.J Palacio
Wonder fiction is the most amazing novel that i've ever read ! Well yeah my other novel collections are pretty awesome too but novel ni...has changed my perspective of my point of view towards my, and other people's imperfections as well. Every plot in every chapter had never get rid off my craves on what is going to happen next in the next chapter (k ayat pening sorry). It's like blending myself into bottomless pit of anger, fears, happiness, the act of grateful, sacrifices and everything. Sorry for not being specific 'cuz I really don't know how to explain this. Tapi, lepas aku baca buku ni I've never felt so grateful of what had Allah gave me. I feel as if the oceans of my pure ridiculous thoughts have washed away by the tides of confidence. And there's nothing more beautiful than having the courage. In other meaning, I love myself even more.

Walaupun aku ni hodoh, tak selawa macam mama and not as macho as daddy, at least I have the simple pleasure like being talented (ceh), a braniac, and being surrounded by people that I loved. Same goes with Auggie. Muka dia cacat. People call him an ogre and a freak. But at the end of the novel, he's surrounded by his loved ones. 

I'm done and tired of giving a damn about what people think about my looks, my personality and how madafaka I could be. I don't wanna give a single fcuk to them sebab spesies2 centu mana pernah kenal aku mendalam. Mana pernah tahu cmmne aku hidup. They're judgemental nak mampus. Lain la if you're my siblings or relatives cuz at least I could consider that lol.

So the conclusion is, be more open-minded and sometimes you just gotta go and look forward of what life puts you into. A deep shit, happiness, or whatever. Just cherish every moment of it as you encounter all those things and insyaAllah, if you keep looking at the bright side, you'll be okay (and mentally stable tu yang penting). 

Gednight uolls xoxo. Selamat bersekolah.

last night aku study and sambil tu pasang radio.
Banyak la jugak diorang my lagu classic rock at tracks.fm. Pastu keluar lagu MCR-Sing.
Right after the song finished, I went into my room then I just cried. Disappointed. Thank you,MCR.

Emotionless Robot Being Emotional


Damn last week was truthfully the saddest week in the history of the sad week. Well firstly I thought we've got enough school break but then out of the blue the government announced that we still have a week off due to the floods that happened in east cost. Despite, that's the second thing that made me sad. The flood victim. Ya Allah I couldn't imagine if that happens here :(

And third, I went to Dinie's house on Saturday planned to do some addmaths revision (i'm so proud of her that she did manage to answer some few questions about differentiation omg really she did it). After an hour and a half studies, we watched an old English movie (not so old, they screened the movie in 2001) and OMG I'VE NEVER BEEN SO EMOTIONAL LIKE UGHH THANKS A LOT ITCH-B YOU MADE MY DAY WORST. like seriously, the movie was incredibly brilliant. The whole scene, the locations, altitude, props and attire...they were all gorgeous and exactly looked like those back in 1800. I freaking love the movie so much ! Aku maleihh nak cerita plot movie tu. The title is called "Nicholas Nickleby". The movie was inspired by a novel "Nicholas Nickleby" which was written by the infamous Charles Dickens back in 1800. It was tremendous, genius, heart-blooming, staccato !! Damn everyone, by I mean everyone, the whole nation should watch the movie. wsjnhdjwnijwdikn i cant ugh hElp 

enko tengok ayat dia *_*

After I got home, I continued the 'Wonder' fiction. Wonder fiction had knuckled my heart and liver and hormones into pieces of fragments ages ago. But there were this chapter when Auggie, the main character who went his very first school trip and my reaction to that part was like "yep, he's so dead. No Auggie Doogie don't go". Okey, part ni la buat aku emotional gila2. No, I'm not gonna mention any of it. Y'ALL SHOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BUY THAT FICTION. MAN, JUST GO BUY IT. I think everyone in this whole universe, don't care if you're a worm or a belly-button, should read it. Goddamn seriously because it really changed my whole perspective towards my indication of my questions towards my inheritance. Like, why am I ugly or why can't I inherit my mom's and dad's flawless-ness. 

Okey. Kalau aku dah habis baca novel tu, i'll write down my review here. And warning, be prepare for my annoying-ness and stupid feelings. 

Bye T T

Today Is The Tomorrowland. 2015 Loading.


Ayyyyy whadup whadup ! Can't believe through the bottom of my heart and my other internal organs ! It's New Year ! Pfft I should've supposed to write this last year (yesterday, lol) but I was kinda busy. Had tuition, Muba rode me a motorbike in the middle of the busy street without a 'P' liscence (which she failed lelz) then we head to pasar malam rabu with our feets, had a deep conversation with Iman, and midnight awesome fantastic heart-blooming chats with Dinie 'till 2.30 in the morning.

Man, I fcuked up constantly back then, especially 2014. But, the intro of the year 2015 were amazing and I wish I could turn back time and enjoy every second of it. Really. 

seek solitude, seek peace.

So, 2014 was uplifting in the air blablabla...omg omg new hair, new me goddamn it why do these people have to be exist ? Hahah used to be one of them and of course, every year when I looked at myself the year before, most probably thinking I'm the fabulous muthafaka in the world or just a messed up horrible bastard, either both lol.

I don't know what to say. Well, the first thing that had crossed my mind as I got up from bed, I thought like "wow i'm actually 17 and today is the first page of 365 days". Idk, I feel emptiness and sorrows. Maybe because, 2014 had totally ruined me and I sorta got scared and anxiety flooded into my bloodstream 'cuz I don't wanna be a ruin. Instead, I want to be the beautiful ruins. Like, make mistakes and suddenly rainbow came to me and took my hand and shove me around people who I love and gonna tell me that everything's gonna be okay. Yeah. I wanna be a beautiful ruin for this 2015 and make the best out of it. 

Overall, 2013 was the greatest year in history and 2014...not so much. It was my downhill...like swimming into a deep shit and craploads of horrible moments. My grades sucked, and so was my behavior. I was crippled physically and emotionally. 2014 was like a reflection to 2015. So that is one of the fact that made me so anxious about this new sinless year.

Plus, erhmagawds youalls I have a battle. Not a cancer, nor aids. Three letters, and they are meaningful to every students. SPM. Yes. It's a bloodless battle that I, all of my friends, batch '98 students gonna face this year. Ya Allah give us the strength and the ease to handle all the pressures and please, give us the intelligence in managing our times. (go get yo ass up and refer to surah al-Asr) ;_;

Okay. I think this is it. "Wait, where's the resolution?"
"I don't need resolutions. I think I'm just gonna go with the flow and be grateful of what I owe for now." Welcome to the future, buttheads !

2 decades ago from today. Three years later from that year, I exist-ED.