Today Is The Tomorrowland. 2015 Loading.


Ayyyyy whadup whadup ! Can't believe through the bottom of my heart and my other internal organs ! It's New Year ! Pfft I should've supposed to write this last year (yesterday, lol) but I was kinda busy. Had tuition, Muba rode me a motorbike in the middle of the busy street without a 'P' liscence (which she failed lelz) then we head to pasar malam rabu with our feets, had a deep conversation with Iman, and midnight awesome fantastic heart-blooming chats with Dinie 'till 2.30 in the morning.

Man, I fcuked up constantly back then, especially 2014. But, the intro of the year 2015 were amazing and I wish I could turn back time and enjoy every second of it. Really. 

seek solitude, seek peace.

So, 2014 was uplifting in the air blablabla...omg omg new hair, new me goddamn it why do these people have to be exist ? Hahah used to be one of them and of course, every year when I looked at myself the year before, most probably thinking I'm the fabulous muthafaka in the world or just a messed up horrible bastard, either both lol.

I don't know what to say. Well, the first thing that had crossed my mind as I got up from bed, I thought like "wow i'm actually 17 and today is the first page of 365 days". Idk, I feel emptiness and sorrows. Maybe because, 2014 had totally ruined me and I sorta got scared and anxiety flooded into my bloodstream 'cuz I don't wanna be a ruin. Instead, I want to be the beautiful ruins. Like, make mistakes and suddenly rainbow came to me and took my hand and shove me around people who I love and gonna tell me that everything's gonna be okay. Yeah. I wanna be a beautiful ruin for this 2015 and make the best out of it. 

Overall, 2013 was the greatest year in history and 2014...not so much. It was my swimming into a deep shit and craploads of horrible moments. My grades sucked, and so was my behavior. I was crippled physically and emotionally. 2014 was like a reflection to 2015. So that is one of the fact that made me so anxious about this new sinless year.

Plus, erhmagawds youalls I have a battle. Not a cancer, nor aids. Three letters, and they are meaningful to every students. SPM. Yes. It's a bloodless battle that I, all of my friends, batch '98 students gonna face this year. Ya Allah give us the strength and the ease to handle all the pressures and please, give us the intelligence in managing our times. (go get yo ass up and refer to surah al-Asr) ;_;

Okay. I think this is it. "Wait, where's the resolution?"
"I don't need resolutions. I think I'm just gonna go with the flow and be grateful of what I owe for now." Welcome to the future, buttheads !

2 decades ago from today. Three years later from that year, I exist-ED.

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