Everything Will Be Fine


//last update 07 Feb 2015 ahahahhaah bapak lama 

Finally finally finally !! Mama and Daddy bought me a brand new laptop and dapat jugak bukak belog ni aaaahhhh rindunyaa. There are lots of things I wanna write here tho. Macam2 gila occasions and event have been happening and it's kinda sad for not having the chance to update it. But nvm tho, nasib ada insta hewhewhew.

So, my school had already done the mid-year exams and GODDAMN THE STRUGGLE IS REAL AF ! I think i'm gonna fail this test and kinda need the determination to be more hard-working. I was thinking to get rid off my android tapi setiap kali off handphone je mesti rasa paranoid. Takut banyak information terlepas. And it is. Cikgu bio suka sangat bagi assignment thru handphone and that's why T.T 

And i've been through lots of depression and suicide temptation bagaii. I know I shouldn't supposed to take this all too serious but i don't know how to think or feel. And sometimes i'm hoping too much, hoping that I could feel the happiness i've been pretending to have. It's funny, thinking back during my younger days where I used to thought : "Asal diorang ni suka bunuh bunuh diri? Hidup dah senang nak bunuh diri". And now I completely understand how it feels when you didn't get something that really matters to you; good grades, self-esteem, confidence and many more. 

well that explains everything

But i feel slightly better now. Sebab dapat luahkan dekat blog ni heheheheheh. I know it's difficult and tough. But if i make an effort, i know it's gonna be worth it. Yeahhh positivity izzz gudd. And yeah, as you get older, every choice you make defines who you're gonna turn into. I'm not gonna choose the wrong path tho. I don't wanna end up miserable just because I've been pushed right pass the point of breaking once in my life. InsyaAllah, bak kata cikgu Koh, setiap kali sembahyang tu kena doa, pastu dah berusaha tu bertawakal je. Don't be upset sebab result teruk ke ape. Maybe right now your result may seem ordinary. But who knows, as you get out from the hella school you might become an extraordinary. //Oh, sir Koh ^.^

Tapi sekarang ni, I gotta be grateful, and never give up on His faith. Allah knows the best. Kerja aku sekarang ni just belajar setakat yang aku mampu. I wish i knew the reason behind all this and I will. Sometimes I could be so obsessed to certain things cuz I don't wanna be such a disappointment to people around me. I don't believe in friendships, forever-lasting affections and all those bullshits. Despite, I still believe people are good in their heart. Opah, Mama, Daddy, Diyanah, Iman, Muba, Mak Cik Intan, sir Koh and many more..these people are important. InsyaAllah i'll try my best to make them i'm worth their effort. 

welp, i think im gonna take my leave. Ape2 nanti i'll update some more :D xoxoxo 

aaeemmmmm geeeee aarrrrrgghh 

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