3.34 am thoughts, sorta

Assalamualaikum...

Well harini aku saje nak post about random stuffs here 'cuz I got nothing else to do. Plus, im tryna to clear off the cobwebs in my mind after berserabut study addmaths topic differentiation. K, nak nanges jap T.T

Ah, after studying addmaths tadi saje la nak baca novel yang Eima baru bagi kt aku entitled "Bau Semangat Anak Muda". Dear Nami Cobb Nobbler, you have my full salution cuz your novel gives me the inspiration to have more deep admiration towards grunge, punk rock and old school music. And also, i learnt lots of new satanists word but in a good-mannered form kehkehekekeekehekh

Hah, masa tengah syok baca novel tu..(i was listening to radio at the same time) tetiba tracks fm main lagu MCR-I Dont Love You. Habis hilang mood aku sekarang ni. Like, reminiscing back to the good old stuffs that had once brought the best of you, and then those people became memories. Tbh, even though I've been introduced my own self to harcore music this lately and dah lupakan band2 yg lama, MCR still makes me feel like home. Dah lama dah aku tinggal music diorang sebenarnya, tapi entahla. Bila terdengar je lagu band tu, or when someone mentions about them, I became fragile and sorrowful. Rindu.


im grateful for the little infinities that you have gave
thank you :')


Hahahah I should've write a post about raya, tapi malasla aku. Yeah, my heart was shattered and delighted at the same time during the first of Syawal. I was shattered 'cuz Ramadhan was over, dah takde pergi terawih, dah takde suara imam n bilal yg aku suka tu, dah takde jumpa makcik2 and budak2 kt masjid, setan dah kena lepas, bau tandas lelaki kt sekolah pun bau mcm setan sebab dah sebulan diorang tak merokok dalam tandas, diri aku ni dah susah nak stayback kt sekolah alasan sebab lapar dahaga and all that, and ketenangan jiwa tu makin lenyap. Oh, i even had a huge fight with my mom during the first raya (and this, i hate to talk about it cuz i absolutely dont wanna give a single damn bout it anymore). And yeah, i was delighted because of the joy and happiness of seeing nasi impit, kuah lontong, opah's super duper chicken curry and kuih raya magically appeared on dining table at 7.30 in the morning :)

Oh, lupa nak bagitau. Bring Me The Horizon dah keluar album baru, "That's The Spirit". Ohmygod i remembered how my reaction was, i was like "OMFG THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!! ERHAMGAWDDD !!!" i was screaming till my lungs out like a seal giving birth to a farm equipment (k XD). Em but then, right after i read their interviews from all over the websites...rasa macam...k this is not what i expected..................Their genre sorta doesn't represent what it should be; metalcore, hardcore, metal. Their new album sorta more to rock, i guess (?). Mula2 tu rasa excited gila bila dengar "The Happy Song", but it turned out to be different. Haiihh damn aku ni memang emotional tak bertempat. Pasal lagu pun nak pikir memanjang T.T Tbh, i prefer their old albums..The Suicide Season, There Is A Hell Believe Me Ive Ate Seen it and Sempiternal. K lagi la rasa nak nanges skrg ni. 




But that's okay tho, cuz my queen Hannah Pixie and Oliver Sykes had finally tying their knot <3 They both are covered with vividly colourful tattoos, animal lover, vegetarians, have an extending affection towars humanity and have the same belief; athiest. Ohmygod ohmygod #relationship goals <3



IDOOOLAAAAAAAA *.*








Throwback Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum :3

Ya Allahhhhhhh I can't believe that we are at the end of holy Ramadhan. Ramadhan HAS finally come to its end and i'm miserably insecured. Frankly, this month is one of the best months I had in my life. Before this, I have always felt anxious, depressed, stressed out and all the anchors of heartache that had been pulling me into an abyss. But I never knew that I would fall in love with this Ramadhan. Tak pernah rasa this kind of peaceful and tranquility sebelum ni. I'm so grateful that god gave me the chance for seeking the goods in bads and surrounding myself with great people :')

I'll never forget my first day iftar, which I had at Masjid Tanjung Rambutan and that was the time Muba and I had finished our tuition class. And i'll never forget Latip, Aiman and their "half half" punchline xD And i still remember my very first terawih at masjid nearby my house and i knew i was deeply infatuated with the imam's and bilal's voices every time they recite their dua's. And i can remember the good times I had with Muiz and Latip, we stayed back at school and doing some revision for our upcoming test and i'll always remember Latip's advices he gave me that Allah will always have a better plan for us as long as we believe in his fate, have faith and never give up on it (goddamn i love u so much). 

Thank you Dinie for introducing me to this band, muahh cikedd :*


And also, i'll never forget  the time Muba, Sarah, Muiz, Latip and I hangout after the school over. Ya Allah ! Wish I could record the moment cuz all of us were hysterically laughing till our ass out on Latip's hillarious pickuplines xD Latip iz da queen of all mother of sassy-ness auuwmm (ayyyye congratz,man you're on my "Aliah's Fav Baeritto" list <3 )
Oh, oh. I remembered the school held an iftar and terawih and I remember Sarah's struggle moment when she wore jubah. Omg she was cute af guurrllll you slay dat jubah dangggg *.* No matter how many girls wearing a bright, colouful dress or baju kurung which may could turn many guys on, to me Sarah was wayyyy more attractive than those dem bitches. *bows* And I also remember that night after the event was over and Muba took me a long ride and idk, aku rasa aman gila masa tu. Thank you so much, Muba :3

And also, I would like to appreciate my mom for maki hamun me during the second day of Ramadhan. She's the best and I couldn't describe it. Kalau la mama tak maki hamun dekat aliah, maybe I wouldn't struggling.. stayback kt sekolah and then qiam tengah2 malam. Thank you mama cuz you're the first person (always will be) who pointed out my weaknesses and how fucktard my behaviour was and how fucked up my ppt result. Thanks, mom.

Overall, this is kinda a dedication post to those who I survived with. Aku berharap sangat that I feel as same as the way I feel during this month. Hahahah entahla tetiba pulak rasa takut. Im scared kalau tetiba aku rasa depressed balik mcm dulu and i don't want that to happen. And baru aku sedar, it's good to be alone. But it's better to be with someone who at least fill your life with bits of happiness and a state contentments. I like to be alone sometimes, but I'm not fancy at being lonely that's all.






Asphyxiated

Assalamualaikum 

Ayyye ssup ! Ohmygod I can't believe that Ramadhan is coming to its end wehhh sedih gila. To be honest, this Ramadhan is the most greatest Ramadhan of all. Masa dulu dulu I had always nagging over my exhaustion, and then pikir nak bukak puasa, like overall "puasa tapi tak puasa" hah macam tu TTwTT And it feels like time flies so fast. I don't know how to describe this feeling and don't know how to handle with this sadness anymore. Sedih do. Alhamdulillah cuz i've been doing good deeds. Dulu perangai cm haram terawih langsung tak pergi. Tapi tahun ni..boleh almost like, twice a week or three times a week camtu la.

Gahh entah la dapat ke tak jumpa Ramadhan tahun depan. Haihh kot kot belum lagi raya Allah dah tarik nyawa aku T.T well in that case, im ready to face it i guess.

Speaking of raya... ah tapayah la cerita. Probably raya tahun ni tak bermakna. Im sick of people kept tweeting bout raya and all those stuffs gth pls. Ever since Abang Jiji and Abang Wan pergi America, everyhting has changed. Drastically. That's why aku tak suka raya. Tbh the only thing I see happiness during Eid is the blessings and the joys of having breakfast at 7 am tu je heheh :3

And yeah, maybe I'm gonna celebrate this Eid with less jollification and more focusing on my studies. SPM nak dekat wehh ;_; I don't wanna brag or being overly confident with myself, but I think I ken du dis ayyye insyaAllah :3 Cuma physic jela. Aku dah taktau nak study physic macam mana lagi. Belajar physic kt sekolah lembab namatey and dah la syllabus form 4 tak sempat habis. Then cikgu expect kitorang dah belajar kt tuition ayy memang la kan hahahahah :"D

They said physic diorang dah ke laut. welp aku punya
dah mashuk kubur adios


Well rasanya my "nagging about happening shits and stuffs" mood dah habis. Malam ni or bila bila nanti I wanna post the occasions that happened during this month of holy Ramadhan <3 I have to post it, nanti bila dah tua tua kerepot I could reminiscing back the good old days :')) Bye bye xoxox